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Jay — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:32:13 +0000

Becky,

I just came across your post and have only recently discovered this marvelous blog. I am going to have to burst Dr(?) Gray’s bubble. I was suckered myself in 2003. The dude got his doctorate through correspondence course!

More important, read the “Rebuttal from Uranus”
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/women_rebuttal_from_uranus/chaplink.htm

He is not exactly a doctor. His credentials according to wikipedia are as follows.
“After high school he attended University of St. Thomas (a liberal arts college) and the University of Texas, but did not receive degrees from these institutions. He lived as a Hindu monk for nine years in Switzerland and studied with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. He received diplomas called BA and MA in “Creative Intelligence” from the Maharishi European Research Universityin Iowa.[1]

John Gray received his PhD from unaccredited Columbia Pacific University after completing a correspondence course in 1982.[1][2]“

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Anindita Sengupta — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 19:02:02 +0000

Bq: your comment is superficial. Why don’t you say something useful?

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Becky — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 10:54:12 +0000

Bq,
I apologise for not having responded sooner. Thanks for taking the time to comment. However, it might have been better if you had taken a bit more time to re-read my writing and reflect on the meaning.

I said,

“Sometimes I feel stuck between the poles of black-and-white thinking. For example, women behave in a certain way because of brain structure/hormones etc versus these explanations are themselves shaped by patriarchal norms of science, gender is all in the social conditioning, and actually men’s and women’s brains are more similar than different. It’s tough to know who to believe. I suppose the solution is not to become too absolute and to take the middle path i.e. gender is a little bit of each.”

The two contrasted positions were an example/illustration of ‘poles of black-and-white thinking’ that surround gender. I did not offer proof or disproof, nor did I subscribe to either of the views, instead offering the view that perhaps both sides may have *a little bit of* truth in them. Essentially you are attacking me simply for offering different explanations of gender.

If you are such an avid reader of postcolonial or black feminist texts, kindly share those points you believe would contribute to the discussion in a constructive manner rather than writing superficial comments.

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Bq — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 19:14:34 +0000

Why don’t so many of these people who call themselves feminist read postcolonial feminism or black feminism? I’m so tired of superficial posts.

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Bq — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 19:12:21 +0000

“For example, women behave in a certain way because of brain structure/hormones etc.”

Um, where’s the proof for that? I can’t believe I’m reading this on a feminist site.

I can’t believe you’ve wasted space on such a silly, trashy book.

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Becky — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 05:01:31 +0000

Thanks for your comment and encouragement!

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Carol — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 08:48:29 +0000

You are in the starting blocks now – don’t stop here.
Some of what he suggest you may use as reference regarding your relationships, but it goes WAAAAY deeper than just man/woman.
Go look for your femininity, your role as a woman, mother , daughter, wife. Not a goddess, or a tree-hugger or a worker bee –
You will see that Grey got a rare insight into men and women, but in later books, he fell off the wagon with his mantras and stuff.
That is why his suggestions on how a woman must act, doesn’t sit well. The way he suggests it, demeans a woman.
But if you understand what your main purpose are, your role in life, then you understand and appreciate the beauty in relationships.