Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/ A SITE FOR INDIAN FEMINISTS Sun, 05 Feb 2012 10:30:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-546 Vivian Sat, 21 Feb 2009 23:21:24 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=111#comment-546 I know this post is a few months old but I would be interested to find out how our current economic situation is affecting divorce. Are women more or less likely to divorce in our current climate? I know this post is a few months old but I would be interested to find out how our current economic situation is affecting divorce. Are women more or less likely to divorce in our current climate?

]]> Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-547 Vivian Wed, 18 Feb 2009 03:02:49 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=111#comment-547 Stumbling across your site was a great find. Not only did I enjoy the original artcile but I learned from the previous commentors as well. Thank you! Stumbling across your site was a great find. Not only did I enjoy the original artcile but I learned from the previous commentors as well. Thank you!

]]> Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-536 Vijay Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:03:28 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=111#comment-536 Good to read this topic. There had been reasons to consider divorce as a taboo in India. The marriages have been arranged and the divorce between the couple has become an issue of the whole family involved. Well these days, the love marriages do happen and they do get divorced. Well in such cases the family do not interfer if they have not approved the marriage first of all. When there is a drift from the value system that they are raised with, there will be serious conflicts in the personal life. Its one's own responsibility. Sometimes I think, its hard to have marriage system anymore. Live-in relationships will be much better than the marriage system. Good to read this topic. There had been reasons to consider divorce as a taboo in India. The marriages have been arranged and the divorce between the couple has become an issue of the whole family involved. Well these days, the love marriages do happen and they do get divorced. Well in such cases the family do not interfer if they have not approved the marriage first of all. When there is a drift from the value system that they are raised with, there will be serious conflicts in the personal life. Its one’s own responsibility. Sometimes I think, its hard to have marriage system anymore. Live-in relationships will be much better than the marriage system.

]]> Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-537 the mad momma Thu, 21 Feb 2008 13:59:52 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=111#comment-537 I don't think people are taking divorce lightly - i think the first problem is that people are getting into marriage without thought. i know at least 4-5 couples who got married after knowing each other for 2-3 days. and got divorced soon. barely knowing each other works in an arranged scenario because you have atleast your background in common. but marry someone from another community and not only do you have the differences to contend with but also the fact that the person is not what you imagined... of course i can't generalise - just something i observed as common among these few couples. the one common thing i realised they all said was - they didnt want to make an effort. i think a lot of people give up a lot more easily than a generation before us.... again. no offence meant to anyone in particular. I don’t think people are taking divorce lightly – i think the first problem is that people are getting into marriage without thought. i know at least 4-5 couples who got married after knowing each other for 2-3 days. and got divorced soon. barely knowing each other works in an arranged scenario because you have atleast your background in common. but marry someone from another community and not only do you have the differences to contend with but also the fact that the person is not what you imagined…

of course i can’t generalise – just something i observed as common among these few couples.

the one common thing i realised they all said was – they didnt want to make an effort. i think a lot of people give up a lot more easily than a generation before us…. again. no offence meant to anyone in particular.

]]> Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-538 IR Fri, 01 Feb 2008 15:24:00 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=111#comment-538 Regarding the comment on 'people unwilling to include me' (Bharati) I also found that on my divorce my social life changed considerably. Part of the reason was that mutual friends felt they could no longer invite me to occasions where my (former) husband was likely to be invited. So they took to inviting me to quiet dinners at home and including him when they were going to the restuarant/ pub. I began to feel like an elderly aunt who had to be entertained but quietly! However, I have to admit that I also constricted my own social life by avoiding making new friends and especially avoided situations where I would meet men who I did not know very well as I was afraid of being perceived as easy prey because I was emotionally vulnerable. Did other people have similar experiences? Regarding the comment on ‘people unwilling to include me’ (Bharati) I also found that on my divorce my social life changed considerably. Part of the reason was that mutual friends felt they could no longer invite me to occasions where my (former) husband was likely to be invited. So they took to inviting me to quiet dinners at home and including him when they were going to the restuarant/ pub. I began to feel like an elderly aunt who had to be entertained but quietly!

However, I have to admit that I also constricted my own social life by avoiding making new friends and especially avoided situations where I would meet men who I did not know very well as I was afraid of being perceived as easy prey because I was emotionally vulnerable. Did other people have similar experiences?

]]> Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-539 Becky Fri, 01 Feb 2008 06:50:56 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=111#comment-539 Bharati: re: 'people I knew well unwilling to include me in their dinner or other invitations'--are you saying this because you are divorced? The same happened to my mom in the US. Somehow events become couples only... quite exclusionary. SK: You are right that marriage being 'sacred' isn't simply because of female dependence and I hope I didn't come across saying that. It's true that the husband's side often may not agree with divorce. In my experience it seemed the husband's side may have been quite concerned with 'saving face', among other things. I would also appreciate some research on the topic of divorce. Maybe I could find this book since I'm in Jaipur and it was published here: Choudhary, J. N. (1988) Divorce in Indian Society: A Sociological Study of Marriage Disruption and Role Adjustment. " Check out these personal stories: http://www.sawnet.org/divorce/#personal BBC radio show: http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/04/2007_23_thu.shtml Dunno about more formal research... Bharati: re: ‘people I knew well unwilling to include me in their dinner or other invitations’–are you saying this because you are divorced? The same happened to my mom in the US. Somehow events become couples only… quite exclusionary.

SK: You are right that marriage being ‘sacred’ isn’t simply because of female dependence and I hope I didn’t come across saying that. It’s true that the husband’s side often may not agree with divorce. In my experience it seemed the husband’s side may have been quite concerned with ‘saving face’, among other things. I would also appreciate some research on the topic of divorce. Maybe I could find this book since I’m in Jaipur and it was published here: Choudhary, J. N. (1988) Divorce in Indian Society: A Sociological Study of Marriage Disruption and Role Adjustment. ”

Check out these personal stories: http://www.sawnet.org/divorce/#personal

BBC radio show: http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/04/2007_23_thu.shtml

Dunno about more formal research…

]]> Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-540 sk Fri, 01 Feb 2008 03:13:52 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=111#comment-540 This is a very interesting read. I agree with you about the importance attibuted to marriage in a woman's life and how it is considered a sacred bond never to be broken. But I dont think it is only because of lack of female autonomy (financial and otherwise). For if that were true then the families of the male party would not oppose it much. But in my experience that is not true. I have no research to back my statements and my experience might lead to my bias, but I have seen families strongly opposed to their male members getting divorced (three out of five of my acquaintance) too. They ran the whole gamut of emotional blackmail, tears, threats, tantrums everything! Having said that, i realise that these examples could just reflect the reaction to divorce in my narrow social/economic niche. Do you (or any of the readers) have any relevant data/research that has a more wider sample set? I am just curious. regards SK This is a very interesting read. I agree with you about the importance attibuted to marriage in a woman’s life and how it is considered a sacred bond never to be broken. But I dont think it is only because of lack of female autonomy (financial and otherwise). For if that were true then the families of the male party would not oppose it much. But in my experience that is not true. I have no research to back my statements and my experience might lead to my bias, but I have seen families strongly opposed to their male members getting divorced (three out of five of my acquaintance) too. They ran the whole gamut of emotional blackmail, tears, threats, tantrums everything!
Having said that, i realise that these examples could just reflect the reaction to divorce in my narrow social/economic niche. Do you (or any of the readers) have any relevant data/research that has a more wider sample set? I am just curious.

regards
SK

]]> Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-543 bharati Thu, 31 Jan 2008 20:32:15 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=111#comment-543 Divorce and separation are not uncommon. Kind acquaintances sympathize and advocate against it if all possible. I have several divorced and widowed family members, and they are treated like everyone else. One woman chose to get divorced twice. Looking at poorer acquaintances, I was surprised to see their remarriages and divorces can be simpler: several parted company and remarried in a community fashion, possibly not legally. No, my family is not ultra modern. The main criterion was practical: Can the woman support herself and her children? If not, well meaning folk coax her to stay on until the kids are older. I would never say this is a particularly Indian problem. Most people, anywhere, do not know how to help a divorced woman. Today I know enough to ask if she needs money, a roof, clothing or simple babysitting and have been able to help several acquaintances. In the west, I often found people I knew well unwilling to include me in their dinner or other invitations. Divorce and separation are not uncommon. Kind acquaintances sympathize and advocate against it if all possible. I have several divorced and widowed family members, and they are treated like everyone else. One woman chose to get divorced twice.

Looking at poorer acquaintances, I was surprised to see their remarriages and divorces can be simpler: several parted company and remarried in a community fashion, possibly not legally.

No, my family is not ultra modern. The main criterion was practical: Can the woman support herself and her children? If not, well meaning folk coax her to stay on until the kids are older. I would never say this is a particularly Indian problem. Most people, anywhere, do not know how to help a divorced woman. Today I know enough to ask if she needs money, a roof, clothing or simple babysitting and have been able to help several acquaintances. In the west, I often found people I knew well unwilling to include me in their dinner or other invitations.

]]> Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-542 Becky Thu, 31 Jan 2008 07:24:28 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=111#comment-542 Thanks for all your insights everyone. Anu I had read your article a while ago but completely forgot! :) “They are not like us. They won’t stick together no matter what.” Yes, the lovely us vs. them scenario... Thanks for all your insights everyone. Anu I had read your article a while ago but completely forgot! :)
“They are not like us. They won’t stick together no matter
what.”
Yes, the lovely us vs. them scenario…

]]> Order Zoloft With No Prescription http://ultraviolet.in/2008/01/30/daring-to-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-541 Anindita Sengupta Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:08:36 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=111#comment-541 Completely agree with you that the taboo on divorce needs to change. Marriage and divorce need to be viewed as personal decisions that individuals make and divested of the huge amount of social and moral implications (bullshit, in other words) that are attached to them. And yes, thank you for saying that bit about children. Echo Nithya's experiences re psychological and verbal abuse and thinking of domestic strife as 'normal'. Wrote about something similar for the Open Democracy blog some time back by the way, which is here: http://www.opendemocracy.com/blog/5050/broken_homes_or_broken_people Completely agree with you that the taboo on divorce needs to change. Marriage and divorce need to be viewed as personal decisions that individuals make and divested of the huge amount of social and moral implications (bullshit, in other words) that are attached to them. And yes, thank you for saying that bit about children. Echo Nithya’s experiences re psychological and verbal abuse and thinking of domestic strife as ‘normal’. Wrote about something similar for the Open Democracy blog some time back by the way, which is here: http://www.opendemocracy.com/blog/5050/broken_homes_or_broken_people

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