Comments on: Education and The Single Woman http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/ a site for Indian feminists Sun, 14 Mar 2010 13:56:54 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Sorab Dalal http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-581 Sorab Dalal Sat, 14 Jun 2008 12:49:03 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=115#comment-581 @ Dilnavaz Most women that I am acquainted with would suggest that is the case :) @ Dilnavaz Most women that I am acquainted with would suggest that is the case :)

]]> By: Kali http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-560 Kali Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:25:29 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=115#comment-560 I am a (professional) mother of a young man and a young woman and I feel the same way about each of them - I want each to not be solely absorbed in their work/studies so that they do not miss the opportunity to meet a true soulmate (as I did their father 30 years ago). A partner and children bring so much into our lives- it would be hard to do justice tto the blessings with words. I am a (professional) mother of a young man and a young woman and I feel the same way about each of them – I want each to not be solely absorbed in their work/studies so that they do not miss the opportunity to meet a true soulmate (as I did their father 30 years ago). A partner and children bring so much into our lives- it would be hard to do justice tto the blessings with words.

]]> By: Dilnavaz Bamboat http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-559 Dilnavaz Bamboat Mon, 25 Feb 2008 09:54:54 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=115#comment-559 @Sorab: I see your point. But then, with that argument, a woman would also want a man smarter than her, so he could be better equipped at providing for her. Clearly, that isn't the case. So does that mean the women somehow crawled out of the Stone Age while the men are still flailing around trapped in that era? @Sorab: I see your point. But then, with that argument, a woman would also want a man smarter than her, so he could be better equipped at providing for her. Clearly, that isn’t the case. So does that mean the women somehow crawled out of the Stone Age while the men are still flailing around trapped in that era?

]]> By: Sorab Dalal http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-570 Sorab Dalal Sun, 24 Feb 2008 06:59:52 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=115#comment-570 I think that it is true that men in our beloved country do not feel too happy about being with a woman who would be considered "smarter" or "more intelligent" than them. For some reason they think that having a Y chromosome means that they must be smarter. It is sad but true. I wonder if there is an evolutionary impulse for this sort of behavior. In the past the best hunter gatherer most fit male got the best choice of mate because he was best able to provide for her and their offspring. Ergo, a woman would always be with someone who was better than her in this hunting gathering business. Therefore, in this new age where the ability to provide is linked to intelligence, the man must be more intelligent than the woman or else why should she choose to be with him. I am not trying to explain what I personally consider to be extremely stupid behavior, I am only trying to provide an explanation for it (which I am very willing to accept maybe totally incorrect :)) Cheers for a well written article I think that it is true that men in our beloved country do not feel too happy about being with a woman who would be considered “smarter” or “more intelligent” than them. For some reason they think that having a Y chromosome means that they must be smarter. It is sad but true. I wonder if there is an evolutionary impulse for this sort of behavior. In the past the best hunter gatherer most fit male got the best choice of mate because he was best able to provide for her and their offspring. Ergo, a woman would always be with someone who was better than her in this hunting gathering business. Therefore, in this new age where the ability to provide is linked to intelligence, the man must be more intelligent than the woman or else why should she choose to be with him. I am not trying to explain what I personally consider to be extremely stupid behavior, I am only trying to provide an explanation for it (which I am very willing to accept maybe totally incorrect :) )
Cheers for a well written article

]]> By: Dilnavaz Bamboat http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-569 Dilnavaz Bamboat Sat, 23 Feb 2008 06:15:37 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=115#comment-569 @Falstaff: Sigh. So my mother's right, isn't she? Well, in the traditional set-up sense, anyway. Thank you for sharing this paper. Fascinating stuff. @Falstaff: Sigh. So my mother’s right, isn’t she? Well, in the traditional set-up sense, anyway. Thank you for sharing this paper. Fascinating stuff.

]]> By: Falstaff http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-568 Falstaff Wed, 20 Feb 2008 04:27:46 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=115#comment-568 Came across <a href="http://divya.mathur.googlepages.com/Arranged_Marriage_India.pdf" rel="nofollow">this paper</a> in this month's Atlantic. Thought you might find it interesting. The Atlantic <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/primarysources/2" rel="nofollow">summary </a> states: The study finds that when upper-middle-class Indian parents help select a wife for their son, he is 11 percent less likely to marry a college-educated woman and nearly 20 percent less likely to marry a working woman than is a comparable man who enters into a “love marriage,” independent of his parents’ wishes....But in India, where 82 percent of parents over the age of 60 live with their kids, maintaining influence over household affairs can be crucial for those navigating old age. This reality, Mathur writes, leads parents to “prefer a daughter-in-law with inferior human capital attributes because this allows them to extract a larger share of household resources.” Came across this paper in this month’s Atlantic. Thought you might find it interesting. The Atlantic summary states:

The study finds that when upper-middle-class Indian parents help select a wife for their son, he is 11 percent less likely to marry a college-educated woman and nearly 20 percent less likely to marry a working woman than is a comparable man who enters into a “love marriage,” independent of his parents’ wishes….But in India, where 82 percent of parents over the age of 60 live with their kids, maintaining influence over household affairs can be crucial for those navigating old age. This reality, Mathur writes, leads parents to “prefer a daughter-in-law with inferior human capital attributes because this allows them to extract a larger share of household resources.”

]]> By: Dilnavaz Bamboat http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-567 Dilnavaz Bamboat Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:21:51 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=115#comment-567 @Lekhni: Sigh. If only life were that uncomplicated! :( @Chandni: No, that assumption is faulty. I did not do the Ph.D. @Lekhni: Sigh. If only life were that uncomplicated! :(

@Chandni: No, that assumption is faulty. I did not do the Ph.D.

]]> By: chandni http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-566 chandni Thu, 14 Feb 2008 06:47:41 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=115#comment-566 I know what you mean and you are right. i just meant to say that its worse for some. Much worse. I am assuming you have "chosen" do what you do, sudy what u want to study right? There are women who's family ( males) decide what course they should take after school, which turns out to be home science because it contributes in preparing them for marriage and being a good home maker. Not to say, we should stop and be thankful for what we have and count the blessings...but right now, a lot of people are talking about how women in India are marching ahead....being recognized in every field etc etc etc....the more things change, the more they seem to remain the same... I know what you mean and you are right.

i just meant to say that its worse for some. Much worse.

I am assuming you have “chosen” do what you do, sudy what u want to study right?

There are women who’s family ( males) decide what course they should take after school, which turns out to be home science because it contributes in preparing them for marriage and being a good home maker.

Not to say, we should stop and be thankful for what we have and count the blessings…but right now, a lot of people are talking about how women in India are marching ahead….being recognized in every field etc etc etc….the more things change, the more they seem to remain the same…

]]> By: lekhni http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-565 lekhni Wed, 13 Feb 2008 13:04:37 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=115#comment-565 Well, if the men don't want intelligent women, they don't get them.. if we women want men who will not feel insecure about our qualifications/job title etc., then we shouldn't marry them. Well, if the men don’t want intelligent women, they don’t get them.. if we women want men who will not feel insecure about our qualifications/job title etc., then we shouldn’t marry them.

]]> By: Dilnavaz Bamboat http://ultraviolet.in/2008/02/04/education-and-the-single-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-564 Dilnavaz Bamboat Wed, 13 Feb 2008 09:08:55 +0000 http://youngfeminists.wordpress.com/?p=115#comment-564 @Lekhni: I agree with your last paragraph. Just not sure how I feel about the very last line. @kbpm: Thank you! You've said exactly what I was laboriously, long-windedly trying to. And thanks for the encouragement too. I'm sure your grandmother's statement must've brought on an 'ouch' moment. @Jack Point: Oh of course I know that she's really saying. But that doesn't make me feel less disturbed about it. To stop one of the most precious people in your life in preparation for someone they haven't even met is ridiculous. And sure, male egos can be as fragile as they want. But that's really not my problem, because I would neither respect nor want to be with such a man in the first place. Also, I don't see how "providing enough" is the same as "earning more". Good luck finding someone brighter but poorer! :) @Lekhni: I agree with your last paragraph. Just not sure how I feel about the very last line.

@kbpm: Thank you! You’ve said exactly what I was laboriously, long-windedly trying to. And thanks for the encouragement too. I’m sure your grandmother’s statement must’ve brought on an ‘ouch’ moment.

@Jack Point: Oh of course I know that she’s really saying. But that doesn’t make me feel less disturbed about it. To stop one of the most precious people in your life in preparation for someone they haven’t even met is ridiculous.
And sure, male egos can be as fragile as they want. But that’s really not my problem, because I would neither respect nor want to be with such a man in the first place. Also, I don’t see how “providing enough” is the same as “earning more”. Good luck finding someone brighter but poorer! :)

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