Maybe it helped that I didn’t have brothers, only a sister, and so I didn’t face gender discrimination at home. Maybe it helped that my parents were relatively broad-minded. Maybe it helped that I read and learnt to question things at an early age.

I don’t remember when I first thought of myself as a feminist. I’m sure it was while I was still in school. I definitely hadn’t written any feminist texts then. Even now, my exposure has bee mostly through the blogosphere, though I have read “A Room of One’s Own” and am currently on “A Vindication of the Rights of Woman”.

I am sure what had an impact on my views was the sexual abuse and harrasment I went through. I am still not sure why I seemed to have got more than my fair share of it: it might be partly because I “developed” early, but then I was first abuse when I was a child, maybe six years old.

My mother always felt (and still does) that her role in a marriage was (is) to be the subservient wife to her “pathi parmeshvar.” Along the same lines, while in India, my father probably assumed his role as the “bread-winner” or male chauvinist that expected certain things from his wife. (He doesn’t anymore!)

As a child, I was bothered by the fact that my mom wanted to have chai ready for my dad the minute he walked in the door, or abandon all plans of shopping, visiting friends, or joining a “kitty” because my dad would be home on the weekends. I would always ask myself why she wouldn’t just live her life for her, and not my dad.

This further frustrated me once she started imposing similar rules of an obedient wife to my younger sister. Keep in my mind, my sister is a “born-feminist,” therefore my mom and her would often disagree. I secretly relished the arguments, vying for my sister to win, and, hopefully, help my mom understand that there was much more to life than just being a good wife. Yes, I had embraced feminism.

Although my mom never really changed, she did try to understand my sister a little bit better. Whether it was those long discussions I had with her or the various arguments my sister won, regardless, she opened up to our perspective, as we did to hers.

Currently, we’re trying to push the envelope by encouraging her to join a volunteer organization, join the job market, or teach cooking classes (oh my god, her butter chicken is to die for!…haha). Whatever she chooses to do (even it’s none of the above), I’ll still love and respect her for her decisions (but secretly sway her towards feminism….do we have a masala powder for that? )

I apologize for rambling, as I tend to do quite often.

Finally, I just want to take a second to thank you for all the wonderful articles on this website.

@Pooja: Which is why I’m interested in individual histories and how they contribute to our worldview. I could’ve written those paragraphs up there– our feminist origins being so similar.

In college I was introduced to more radical forms of feminist thought and while I read about them, I never seriously took them up. My brand of feminism is my own. I still wear bras and I do wax my legs and I like wearing make-up. But I make my own decisions about my life and career and I think that is the most empowering thing of all.