I remember once I got down from the train at Andheri station. This guy in his 40′s just brushed his hands on my top. I was ill that day because I just got my chums.

I had two choices. Either just go with my pain and buzz off or teach him a lesson. I chose the latter.
I created a chaos and ran after him. The people nearby thought there was a problem and everyone caught him and starting beating him. I was glad that I did it. It was fun to get even with such a man.

Its upto us. If we women want to be treated like doormats, we can take shit.

While discussing how you immediately react to these road-side romeos’ comments is a good thing, will it be better to also think how else this attitude can be changed? How many of us have open honest discussions about these at home? Would having open discussion forums in schools help boys understand / appreciate how terrible the other sex feels about this behaviour (i don’t highly believe in “teaching” moral science…. we should have more open discussion forums where ppl. express their thoughts and teacher just facilitates it & moves it in the right direction). What else can be done in schools / slums to make young boys realise this issue (catch them young ? Do we openly criticize, in all forms of media, cartoonists / novelists who draw / write as though women are objects of sex? Do we show their pictures on TV and throw cow dung at them? How else can we use the media to communicate this?

Keep writing and have these good discussions going!

@High Priestess: Lol! True, true. Also, I think molesters are primarily bullies and they’ll continue to victimize you and other people unless you push them into a corner, after which they usually back off.

When you turn it around on them, that THEY are the object, and a very undersirable one at that, it really tears apart the desi male ego.

Part I

You’re driving around in the city, looking for a parking space. You spot one just outside the building you want to go to. You draw up a little ahead of it and start to back in. Just then this woman behind you slips her car into the spot you were trying for. She stole your space! You’re really mad about this. You jump out of your car and start shouting her. Tell her it’s your space. Call her names. Generally make a scene. She, on the other hand, doesn’t respond. She gets out of her car, locks it, glances across at you for a moment with complete indifference and then, with a shrug of her shoulders, walks slowly away.

Q 1: How would you describe the woman’s silence?

a. Tacitly consenting
b. Arrogant
c. Insulting
d. Self-secure

Q 2: Would you say that the woman walked away because:

a. She was afraid or embarassed
b. She had been brought up by her grandmother never to answer back
c. She didn’t understand what it means to be a feminist.
d. She thought you were beneath contempt and didn’t see any point in arguing with you

Q 3: As a result of the woman’s behavior, how do you feel (pick all that apply)?

a. Vindicated
b. Triumphant
c. Proud of having told her off
d. Belittled

Q 4: How likely do you think you are to jump out and shout at someone in a similar situation again?

a. Extremely likely – in fact, I may do it even if no one steals my parking space
b. Very likely – it went so well
c. Somewhat likely – at least I told her what I thought
d. Unlikely – I looked like an immature idiot.

Part II

Same scenario. Except this time the woman jumps out of her car as fast as she can, keeps her eyes firmly fixed to the ground, refuses to look at you, and scuttles off into the nearest building as quickly as she can.

Questions – same as above.

See what I mean?

And I’m not sure Anindita’s post is relevant. As I say above, this is not about staying silent when you want to say something – I’m certainly not advocating that – it’s about considering and questioning why you want to engage with these people at all.

@Unmana: I didn’t think many people would understand. Thanks.

@Malika: Equation? I think not. Nothing equal about this at all.

@Falstaff: Now that I’m done laughing at visions of myself as a sack of potatoes, I would like to point out that in my experience retaliation has shown a minimal change. Of course I’m not stupid enough to go out and do this when I’m all alone in a desolate place (not that an incident of this nature has ever occurred in said place.) Several offenders are cowards and expect their victim to silently cower in the face of their words/touch. I’ve had one apologize when I stood up to him and though I’ll never know whether it was genuine or for public consumption (yes, I choose to be naive), I still see silence as tacit consent, not as dignity and Anindita’s post “Taking the Stitches Off” articulates that so well.

@Quilted & Pissu: Thanks for stopping by and sharing.

@Namratha: As I’ve mentioned above in my comment to Falstaff, I do not claim to display bravado when I am in a vulnerable position, but there are times when I am not physically vulnerable and those are times I choose to take a stand against what is being said/done to me. I think it’s an individual choice. It may not work for all women but it does for me.