So in essence it reduces the strength of women , reduces their ability to voice opinions. A pachydermic attitude is all easy to advocate when it comes to generic issues but when things affect you personally it is unfair on any normal humanbeing to be objective, well-informed. You do not know what the person actually went through and even if they have the strength to deal with it and knows ways to tackle it it still does impact them.

I do agree that solutions need not emerge out of each post. A voice, an opinion can draw attention to an issue and trigger a solution somewhere.

That said , could we please do away with the don’t like don’t read bit? That will only lead to group think. But in the end what bothers me on this issue is when you read various tips to combat cyberstalking most of them have things like choose genderless screennames(this one from information week), avoid and step out of conflict which really aren’t solutions. Other than IP tracing, reporting to ISP,banning users, (extreme cases) there is not much one can do. Any other action ideas.

This space can take critics but should it not be allowed to respond to them as well?

The fact that a few people think a post is incoherent doesn’t mean that everyone thinks so. Or that the post has no value. Or that it is not making any valid points or raising any issues. The editors on this site do not presume to tell contributors what they should or should not think.

A lots of gender issues are complex and many-sided and difficult to untangle. The reason UV was set up in the first place was to give women a space to talk things out, untangle some things, arrive at clarity in some cases. The process may not always be coherent or smooth or easy.

In that sense, you’re right, it was never meant to be that much “more” than a personal blog — if you read the manifesto, you will see what i mean. The idea was never to be an expert forum pontificating on issues, a magazine of feminist theory. The idea was to be a space for women to, ironically, freely express themselves. To reflect as comprehensively as possible how things are for women in India and the things they feel strongly about. It is based on a principle of inclusion, rather than selection and exclusion.

Perhaps, there is a mismatch between your expectations and what the site is trying to do. I had hoped people like you, who have such well-formed opinions, would help others by talking, discussing, engaging. Clearly, you’re looking for something else, something that other sites will be able to fulfill better.

Thank you for the good wishes.

Anu: There are things I don’t agree in Meena’s post but I agree that it’s brought up some things we should talk about. I wrote about this dilemma on my personal blog some time back (http://aninditasengupta.wordpress.com/2007/12/12/the-self-is-elsewhere/). At the time, I didn’t really talk about it as a gender issue or a feminist issue but I remember feeling extremely vulnerable and I think this sense of vulnerability affects many of us. Why are women more susceptible? Because women are more likely to be judged for their opinions and openness about certain topics.

For example, I’m pretty sure that even UV bloggers steer clear of certain topics, say sex and sexuality or marriage (which Unmana broke finally), because of the fear of people extrapolating from their opinions to judge their personal lives. But there is little we can do about this besides steeling ourselves and writing anyway. It is a risk, but it would be a risk even if one was writing in a magazine. We’re not more vulnerable on the Internet; we’re simply more aware of our vulnerability, and more traceable.

So I would say:
1) developing a thick skin
2) talking about it as wrong, unsavoury, unpleasant, disgusting, just talking against it so that there are counter voices.
3) I think the policing line needs to be drawn at threatening comments. After all, one would report threatening letters, so why not email or comments?

I read many post here, where comments are mild to strong to sometimes unpleasant and that seemed fine, life. But Meena’s post here and Sharanya’s post on her blog started addressing something personal, that has implications for the rest of us on the web. And this needs our less than usual earnestness in breaking down an argument…………..

http://sharanyamanivannan.wordpress.com/2008/10/29/what-it-feels-like-for-a-girl/

Viewing cyberstalking objectively is a tough job as it is a subjective experience and the way it is being handled by the victim, will call on many many things…………….. which we can keep pulling apart. And in the process forget the crime and perpetrators…….. waste useful discussion time focused not on the crime or the solutions………

Since, I wrote that post on my blog I have had to unapprove comments from agencies that are advertising cyberstalking detecting expertise………. there apparently seems like a nice thriving private industry behind this phenomenon. That to me also indicates that more and more victims are using private means to handle this…….all pointing to the gaping holes in legislation.

Done. I’ve unsubscribed from the RSS feed and deleted you from my bookmarks.

Such a disappointment this site turned out to be.