Sumedha: I understand. I felt the same way at 18 (and now I suddenly feel very old typing this ). I wouldn’t tell you to “chill” though, like Joy of Having has suggested. Find a middle path that you’re comfortable with.

Payal: God bless your grandmother. She sounds fabulous. And thank you for your wishes.

What you said made me think of my grandmother, actually. She’s an amazing woman. Since I struck out on my own around the age of 30, whenever we get a chance to talk, my gran asks me if I’m happy. I say I am, and she tells me that that’s all that’s important. She’s 80, lives by herself and runs a small school, and she never stops reminding me that one only answers to oneself, and one has a responsibility to keep oneself happy.

Quite a contrast to all the “well-wishers” who would doom us to a prison of unwanted matrimony at the slightest chance, and see no other alternative to self-actualization for a woman.

I find this very, very irritating! I have a hard time not snapping at my aunt, I always try to politely but firmly ask her to not talk about my wedding at all. My mum wants me to accept the talk and not get upset or irritated by it… she says that it’s not like my aunt means everything she says, it’s just something she’s used to talking about, used to seeing and believing. But I don’t think I can do that yet.. I can’t sit and smile and nod when talks of my marriage go on. Marriage is not the aim or part of the dreams I have now.