Comments on: Of fatigue and forgetting http://ultraviolet.in/2009/12/01/of-fatigue-and-forgetting/ a site for Indian feminists Thu, 09 Sep 2010 17:48:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Scherezade http://ultraviolet.in/2009/12/01/of-fatigue-and-forgetting/comment-page-1/#comment-6819 Scherezade Wed, 06 Jan 2010 10:20:24 +0000 http://ultraviolet.in/?p=1157#comment-6819 please ignore the spelling errors. they are horrendous. please ignore the spelling errors. they are horrendous.

]]> By: Scherezade http://ultraviolet.in/2009/12/01/of-fatigue-and-forgetting/comment-page-1/#comment-6818 Scherezade Wed, 06 Jan 2010 10:19:27 +0000 http://ultraviolet.in/?p=1157#comment-6818 It's important to become aware of your (our) rage since, psychologically speaking, once you gain awareness you are more inclined to channel it and do something about it. In any case most shrinks will vouch for this: awareness is the starting point of successful treatment. There are worse stastics for mental health studies amongst women. A recent complilation of a results from a battery of tests have confirmed that about 50% more women suffer and/or are likely to suffer from certain psychosomatic disorders as compared to men whereas less than half of those ever report seeking help for their condition(s).If you are a woman shrink then you are often left tearing your hair out because even well rounded and intelligent women are unable to comprehend that post partum depression is not their fault. Its heart-breaking to see them blame themselves over and over again for being "unfit" mothers during therapy. Our helplessness is particularly upsetting because its now morphed into learned helplessness - we are on some inexplicable level convinced of the futility of making an attempt to improve upon the conditon we find ourselves in because of precedence. Its relatively easier to shrug off responsibility and espouse mindless "individualism" than to admit that we as a collective group of people - women people - need to start asking some pertinent and difficult questions and following through for the answers, which will not be entirely easy to come by. Everybody can't do everything but we can all start somewhere. I will probably try to contribute to the field of women's mental health and development, because thats closest to what I do, while someone else can pick something else up. It’s important to become aware of your (our) rage since, psychologically speaking, once you gain awareness you are more inclined to channel it and do something about it. In any case most shrinks will vouch for this: awareness is the starting point of successful treatment. There are worse stastics for mental health studies amongst women. A recent complilation of a results from a battery of tests have confirmed that about 50% more women suffer and/or are likely to suffer from certain psychosomatic disorders as compared to men whereas less than half of those ever report seeking help for their condition(s).If you are a woman shrink then you are often left tearing your hair out because even well rounded and intelligent women are unable to comprehend that post partum depression is not their fault. Its heart-breaking to see them blame themselves over and over again for being “unfit” mothers during therapy. Our helplessness is particularly upsetting because its now morphed into learned helplessness – we are on some inexplicable level convinced of the futility of making an attempt to improve upon the conditon we find ourselves in because of precedence. Its relatively easier to shrug off responsibility and espouse mindless “individualism” than to admit that we as a collective group of people – women people – need to start asking some pertinent and difficult questions and following through for the answers, which will not be entirely easy to come by. Everybody can’t do everything but we can all start somewhere. I will probably try to contribute to the field of women’s mental health and development, because thats closest to what I do, while someone else can pick something else up.

]]> By: Meera http://ultraviolet.in/2009/12/01/of-fatigue-and-forgetting/comment-page-1/#comment-6131 Meera Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:06:15 +0000 http://ultraviolet.in/?p=1157#comment-6131 I agree with Preeti. Indian society does not value women. I have seen many families where women are not allowed to have any opinion at all, whether it affects them, their children or not. Worst, they are not supposed to have dreams or desires. It is seen as detrimental to the family if the women have personal desires. They are merely required to slog, slog and then slog quietly and not complain. It is kind of worse than slavery. They won't teach women to read and write, because they think women are not required to do so, and think it is better not to educate women so that they don't get 'ideas' The only way out is to make young girls understand the injustice they are subjected to, and ask them to stand up for their own rights. Men will never change as long as they are not forced to or required to (except a miniscule percentage of them). Who will give up free lunches? I agree with Preeti. Indian society does not value women. I have seen many families where women are not allowed to have any opinion at all, whether it affects them, their children or not. Worst, they are not supposed to have dreams or desires. It is seen as detrimental to the family if the women have personal desires. They are merely required to slog, slog and then slog quietly and not complain. It is kind of worse than slavery. They won’t teach women to read and write, because they think women are not required to do so, and think it is better not to educate women so that they don’t get ‘ideas’

The only way out is to make young girls understand the injustice they are subjected to, and ask them to stand up for their own rights. Men will never change as long as they are not forced to or required to (except a miniscule percentage of them). Who will give up free lunches?

]]> By: neo http://ultraviolet.in/2009/12/01/of-fatigue-and-forgetting/comment-page-1/#comment-5752 neo Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:29:02 +0000 http://ultraviolet.in/?p=1157#comment-5752 There are things we can do nothing about because there are people who will never change. The world will improve only as the older, flawed generation dies off and the newer generation takes its place. And that is where the battle must be fought. Each blog post or tweet (or even a dinner-table conversation) makes it that slightly more likely that an impressionable 15-year old will reject the "wisdom" of his flawed parents and will do the right thing instead. That is why I blog. -Neo There are things we can do nothing about because there are people who will never change. The world will improve only as the older, flawed generation dies off and the newer generation takes its place.

And that is where the battle must be fought. Each blog post or tweet (or even a dinner-table conversation) makes it that slightly more likely that an impressionable 15-year old will reject the “wisdom” of his flawed parents and will do the right thing instead.

That is why I blog.

-Neo

]]> By: Preeti Preeti http://ultraviolet.in/2009/12/01/of-fatigue-and-forgetting/comment-page-1/#comment-5640 Preeti Preeti Fri, 04 Dec 2009 12:04:34 +0000 http://ultraviolet.in/?p=1157#comment-5640 I have always felt that linking son-preference/female foeticide and infanticide to dowry is somehow wrong. At the bottom of it all, I feel is the the fact that Indian women's contributions are valued so little, at home or in the larger world of social institutions and society. Indian culture devalues women and women's work in just so many ways. Women perform the vital economic activity of bringing children into the world who grow up to be income-earners and tax-payers -- that's a valuable contribution. But most Indian women have so little power in the family unit, despite the substantial contributions that they make to it -- caring for the young and sick, housework, farm labour, fetching water. Society see these activities as being inherently low-value not because they actually are, but because these are performed by women. As many feminists have pointed out, child care and elder care are provided free by the housewife to the family unit, but the same can be prohibitively expensive if the family were to buy these services from the market. We will continue to struggle with dowry and female foeticide, because they are not the malaise, but only its symptoms. The real disease that ails Indian society is a systematic and deep-rooted devaluation of women and their contributions to family and society. Until we put our money where our mouth is, and move beyond paying token homage to the "Bharatiya Nari", Indian women will lead lives of quiet desperation I have always felt that linking son-preference/female foeticide and infanticide to dowry is somehow wrong. At the bottom of it all, I feel is the the fact that Indian women’s contributions are valued so little, at home or in the larger world of social institutions and society. Indian culture devalues women and women’s work in just so many ways. Women perform the vital economic activity of bringing children into the world who grow up to be income-earners and tax-payers — that’s a valuable contribution. But most Indian women have so little power in the family unit, despite the substantial contributions that they make to it — caring for the young and sick, housework, farm labour, fetching water. Society see these activities as being inherently low-value not because they actually are, but because these are performed by women. As many feminists have pointed out, child care and elder care are provided free by the housewife to the family unit, but the same can be prohibitively expensive if the family were to buy these services from the market.

We will continue to struggle with dowry and female foeticide, because they are not the malaise, but only its symptoms. The real disease that ails Indian society is a systematic and deep-rooted devaluation of women and their contributions to family and society. Until we put our money where our mouth is, and move beyond paying token homage to the “Bharatiya Nari”, Indian women will lead lives of quiet desperation

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