Like a bird that contemplates a limitless flight

YOU WANT TO LEAVE the city for a smaller town in the hills, to walk in cooler temperatures and climb roads that meander into valleys. You want to buy a glass of steaming milk from the man who sells his dairy in giant pots that rests on a kerosene stove. You want to sip the sweetened milk and watch late summer tourists take horse rides around the central area of town. You want to be alone in crowded market areas where families seek small town pleasures before heading back to their polluted cities. You want to buy trinkets from shops selling cheap ornaments and overpriced sweaters. You want to take your booklet and your favorite pen and write a few lines. You want to write alone, in a town where no one knows you, observing things in seclusion, in indulgent isolation.

And so you decide to go. Take the night bus alone unlike the other passengers who are accompanied by their families; families consisting of cranky children, bored husbands and housewives in colorful clothes. There will be single men who take the bus too, plenty of them, and only one of you.

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Courtney Martin on Reinventing Feminism

Sometimes the irony astounds me: I don’t dress up for business meetings, but I do dress up for 18-year-old girls who might be converted to feminism by my knee-high boots or my trendy dress — Courtney Martin

IN THIS VIDEO, Courtney Martin speaks passionately about the several concerns of young feminists anywhere in the world today. She shares her experience of reading books on feminism; being recruited to the feminist movement because it was hip, cool and could even include fishnet stockings; the “I can save the world enthusiasm”of teenage years; the desperation that once made her feel that she should write a letter to the world and immolate herself on the steps of the White House; the problematized point of “appearance”; chronicling the story of feminist icons of her generation; and realizing that her mom was her inspiration. Several times in this video, I felt that she was telling all our stories. [Read More]

The Fairness of Tanning

THERE WAS A TIME when all you’d use Fair&Lovely for was to get married. But Fair&Lovely grew with time; now you want to be fair not only to get married but also to get back at a boy who’s been ignoring you all this while (obviously because you were dark) and to get a job (especially if you are interested in becoming a model or an air hostess). And now Fair&Lovely has discovered that boys might want to be fair too in order to win girls, so they have been blessed with Fair&Handsome. No more stealthy use of your sister’s or bhabhi’s fairness cream! Quite often termed Indian’s ‘colonial mentality’, the obsession with being fair (read beautiful) afflicts us to this day.

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On Roman Polanski

Sreeparna

ROMAN POLANSKI is a free man. The Swiss government refused to extradite him to the US. Does a crime committed by an Oscar winning director cease to be a crime? Should Roman Polanski be treated any differently because he is the director of The Pianist? Does the fact that he raped and sodomized a thirteen-year-old girl more than thirty-three years ago diminish the magnitude of the crime or its impact on the victim? The girl, little more than a child at the time met Polanski during a Vogue photo shoot in Los Angeles, California. He drugged as well as plied her with alcohol before he assaulted her in a hot tub in 1977. The charges against him were very serious including assault on a child under the age of 14 with under Californian law at that time, statutory rape. According to some newspaper sources his victim Samantha Gailey’s lawyer made a plea bargain with him so that she could preserve the anonymity of her client. He pleaded guilty to unlawful sex with a minor (a much lesser charge than his original offences) and spent a mere forty-two days in prison before he fled first to London (his home at that time) and then to France, his adoptive home.

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Infantile Shortshrift

oishik

INDIA HAS NO law to criminalize child sexual abuse (CSA). The Prevention of Offences against Children Bill was drafted in 2005, but it has been in the cold storage despite the setting up of the Commission on the Protection of Child Rights in the same year. On a wave of moral panic after the Ruchira molestation case resurfaced, the government drafted the Criminal Law (Amendment) Bill, 2010 (CLA) to review rape laws in the Indian Penal Code (IPC) – to redefine rape beyond non-consensual peno-vaginal penetration and have clear provisions on CSA. [Read More]

Good Girls Don’t Talk to Boys

Apu

GOOD GIRLS DON’T TALK to Boys. And vice versa, although an exception may be made for good boys who are simply lured by bad girls.

Recently, I came across this new item that talked about a young girl in a Chennai engineering college who killed herself because she was ticked off for talking to a boy. It wasn’t just the scolding she received which precipitated the suicide, but the fear that her parents would have been informed of her heinous crime – talking to a boy.

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Napkin

EVERYONE IS SYMPATHETIC of a pregnant woman. But in my opinion, pregnancy is only a 10-month torment which might happen once or twice in a woman’s life. On the other hand, the torment a woman goes through each month when she is not pregnant is a life sentence. Freedom, Stayfree, Whisper–advertisements of these sanitary napkins show carefree women who wake up fresh and happy in the mornings while I see young girls from poor families stare longingly at these sanitary napkins in medical shops. I never experienced this longing as a young girl because I didn’t even know the existence of sanitary napkins when I started my period.

Delayed periods is actually a boon that poverty bestows on poor girls. I was 16 when my periods started. Those days we had just one meal a day. Even that wasn’t an assured one! It was my last year at school, around the half-yearly exams. My family organized a small celebration for me. It was exciting, but I couldn’t fully understand what was going on. I had no pain for the first six  months. Then, during menstruation, I started to experience heavy flow of blood. I had to walk for about two km to reach school; there was no money to pay for the bus ticket. Only a few scraps of old cloth were folded and kept in place to hold the blood flow all day. I had to keep folding in and folding out the wet and dry parts of the cloth.

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To be or not to be: On Queer Nazariya

Raheema

I JUST ATTENDED the Queer Nazariya film festival in Bombay and I loved the experience. In the discussion about queer communities, law and culture, Ponni Arasu, a gay rights activist from Alternative Law Forum, Bangalore, spoke of the need for the queer community in India to redefine itself and its goals after the groundbreaking Delhi High Court judgment against Section 377 of the Indian Constitution which criminalizes homosexuality. In some senses only the idea of being queer can actually encompass the reality of sexual processes. Sex is funny and inescapably queer. I’ve been a part of the amorphous queer community in Bangalore (via workshops at Sangama) and have witnessed the Queer Azadi city marches (vicariously for various reasons) and then the subsequent mobilization around 377. It feels like a beautiful journey and we have a long way to go.

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Good Girls Keep Their Legs Together

Dilnavaz_profile4-1

MY PIANO TEACHER LIVED two floors below us. A large lady with a stentorian voice and glasses dangling on her ample bosom, she caressed the ivories with a passion most teenagers reserve for romps in the hay. Single and living alone, music was her life and her students her family. That she was a stellar pianist and painstaking teacher was overshadowed by how the grandmothers of the building, mine included, viewed her. Miss Printer, you see, couldn’t keep her legs together.

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It’s Not PMS, It’s Your Mother

Dilnavaz_profile4-1

THAT’S NOT THE TITLE of a sitcom. (Though it could be –think I should sell the idea?) I once said that to someone. Meant it too. And I’m so proud of the way I restrained myself from going for his jugular when the oh-so-patronizing “Honey, it’s PMS” (hand pat included) was tossed my way, like a puppy receiving a biscuit.

Even as I write this, I am NOT, repeat NOT PMSing. I understand there are some women who experience physical and emotional fluctuations in the days preceding Leak Week. I, fortunately, am not one of them. I do not cramp, I do not moan and I certainly don’t have my menstrual cycle whirring my tear ducts into overdrive. Tell me I’m PMSing, though, and I’ll ask you how you’d like your eyeballs for breakfast.  (And yes, I vaguely get the self-fulfilling prophecy here.) [Read More]

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