October 10, 2008

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UNMANA INITIATED a lively discussion on marriage Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist, a few weeks ago, and there is news now that the institution as we legally define it in India may be set to change. Maharashtra is picking up the cause of legalising live-in relationships and providing more rights to extramarital female parties within a marriage. 250mg Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist, The state cabinet announced on Wednesday that the definition of the word "wife" under Section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code may be amended, thus facilitating the expansion of the institution of marriage. The bill cannot be cleared without the Centre's approval, 750mg Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist, and the amendment has been suggested ostensibly in the interest of securing the rights of women in relationships that do not have the protection of the law. 10mg Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist,

To my understanding, there are two points to be considered here, and personally I applaud both:

1, Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist usa. Live-in relationships of over a certain "reasonable duration" (yet to be determined), are treated as common law marriages.

2, Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist. Female parties not legally bound within a marriage (a non-primary partner of a polygamous husband) also get the legal status of wives.

Of course, Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist canada, there are a huge number of grey areas in relation to both categories. First and most obvious of all, an effective legalisation of polygamy will be a veritable minefield in itself, 1000mg Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist. It is arguable, Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist japan, for instance, that in protecting the rights of the "other woman" in a marriage, the rights of the official/first wife are curtailed.  How exactly will a couple prove that they have lived together long enough to meet the law's criteria?  And lastly, 40mg Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist, why aren't these provisions also extended to male non-primary partners, 200mg Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist, and what if they were. Monogamy may not be better -- but it is certainly legally simpler.

What do you think of this move -- should we hold on to straightforward matrimonial monogamy, or expand the definition of marriage, 50mg Hydroquinone Retin A All Day Chemist. If, like me, you are in cautious theoretical support, what kinds of solutions might be viable in tackling the grey areas that this legal amendment will encounter?

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September 16, 2008

How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining

Unmana DattaHELLO UV READERS! How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining, I’m excited to be writing my first post here. And going by the old feminist slogan, “the personal is political", my first post is about something that is intensely personal: marriage. My views on marriage have always been ambivalent. Even as a child, I recognized that most marriages I saw around me were unsatisfactory and, almost always, unfair on the woman, 10mg How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining. But it seemed like the default option. Once you grew up, you got married, How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining. Usually by the time you were 25 if you were female. You had a few more years if you were male.

Early on, possibly influenced by books I read, I rejected arranged marriage as an option. I was taken with the idea of marriage as an outcome of romantic love -– you love someone so much you want to spend the rest of your life with him –- but an arranged marriage was something I couldn’t understand (and still can’t but that’s not the subject of this post). How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining, Conforming with my own belief, I got married when I was 25. How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining coupon, But the fitting into a stereotype ended there. I married a man from a different community who had grown up in the opposite end of the country (his Gujarat to my Assam) and who was as opposed to tradition and rituals as I was. We got married in the quietest way possible: in the registrar’s office, in the presence of only indispensable friends and family.

Before marriage, I had been living on my own in a rented flat while he lived with roommates. We had decided it would be practical for him to move in with me, How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining. So after the vows, we all went to my home -– now our home –- for lunch. My mother-in-law insisted on a few rituals and we indulged her, 150mg How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining. We also had a party in the evening where we dressed up in Indian clothes. I wore sindoor and a mangalsutra. How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining, But that was the extent of our bow to tradition.

Marriage didn’t change things much for either of us. The biggest difference was that we were more comfortable with each other in public and with each other’s families. But otherwise, we behaved much like we always had: enjoying each other’s company, talking for hours, How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining usa, watching movies, shopping, cooking and eating together. In terms of household chores, we shared things pretty equitably, each of us choosing the tasks we wanted to do. He ran errands more often than I did –- primarily because I don’t drive –- but he participated enthusiastically in household chores as well, How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining. I never knew what to say when people asked, “How’s married life?” “Not much different” was usually met with incredulity.

To me, How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining uk, husband merely means ‘male spouse’ and wife means ‘female spouse’. But that doesn’t seem to be in sync with other people’s perceptions of these terms. Women may have become more independent and men more considerate, but a ‘wife’ is still supposed to cook and clean while the ‘husband’ -– what. How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining, Pays bills. Watches TV. People greet with surprise even the declaration that he cooks (and enjoys it). It surprises and saddens me that it is such a big deal for the man to share (let alone share equally) the housework though it is now common for the wife to work outside and earn equally. 30mg How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining, The terms 'husband' and 'wife' are loaded with gender stereotyping. I am considering dropping these terms entirely and referring to him merely as my partner, How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining.

In fact, over time, I have come to believe that marriage itself is an outdated institution. When I first read this post long ago, I disagreed vehemently but I realised later that she was right. Even if one puts aside (for the moment), societal perceptions of gender roles within a marriage, a ‘marriage’ is supposed to be a lifelong bond between a man and a woman, How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining japan. But that isn’t what I want, or what I would call my relationship. How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining, Life is too long for me to be able to predict what I want for the rest of my life. I like and admire the person I married more than any other person I know but then, I've known him for only five years. How can I predict that we’ll still be in love after ten, twenty, fifty years. 200mg How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining, Today, we live with each other because we prefer it. If some day, either of us derives more discomfort than pleasure from the relationship, we’ll know it’s time to separate. A relationship shouldn’t be a bond that shackles people to unhappiness, How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining.

We got ‘legally’ married because that was the only aspect of getting ‘married’ that made sense to us. Rituals didn’t mean anything. Our family already knew and approved. Friends and acquaintances knew we were a couple, How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining craiglist. How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining, But we knew our parents would not understand us living together without getting married (and without any intention of doing so) and we recognised that the legal status of marriage would make things easier (to rent a house together, for example, or to travel together).

But I don't see why the state should interfere in people’s personal lives at all. Why should it matter to the government who I live with, have sex with, procreate with.

I can think of three objections people may raise to the idea of doing away with marriage altogether. One, the spouse’s rights are protected by law. Secondly, there is the question of the care and custody of children, How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining. 1000mg How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining, Finally, marriage might be said to enable stable families.

But property rights can be protected through shared ownership and wills. We should perhaps have some mechanism through which you can register one person as your “next of kin” with their consent. That takes care of who to inform in a medical emergency or whose permission is to be taken if the individual is incapacitated and a medical decision needs to be made. How Do You Prove Tetracycline Staining, The question of children arises even in cases where marriage fails. Divorced couples do manage. Why should it be any different or more difficult if the couple have never been married to each other. As for the last objection -- a relationship in which one or both partners are unhappy but are bound together isn’t stability; it’s confinement.

So I do advocate the end of marriage as an institution. Not that I see it happening anytime soon. But I feel we should treat ourselves as adults, free to navigate our own lives and relationships without religion or the state defining and adjudicating them for us.

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November 17, 2007

What Is Erythromycin For

AT THE WEDDING What Is Erythromycin For, of a friend recently, I stood among close friends, showering the newly-married couple with marigolds and rose petals, a lump forming in my throat as I prayed for the couple’s happiness. In the midst of this sentimental moment, I heard a familiar voice declare with great satisfaction, “At last, 500mg What Is Erythromycin For, she is Mrs. (husband’s last name).” The happy haze dissipated rather suddenly as I whirled around to catch the look of smug contentment on my friend’s husband’s face. All was well with the world, the woman had been palmed off from father to husband, and this was precisely how it should be, What Is Erythromycin For paypal, his smile suggested.

With as much civility as my tart tongue could muster, I informed him that it is possible she may not change her last name post matrimony (like two of the three women in our group), What Is Erythromycin For craiglist, to which he replied in an annoyed, challenging tone, “Wanna bet?” The exchange that followed has no place in this post. But the interpretation of my supposedly neo-liberal, out-to-cause-trouble comment was enough to irk him greatly, What Is Erythromycin For. And have him make every effort to put me ‘in my place’.

Woman Rocking The Boat = Dangerous = Needs To Be Shut Up.

Time and again, I am amazed at the reactions of seemingly educated, What Is Erythromycin For ebay, liberal and urbane men when the issue of women’s last names is broached. It is assumed that when a man and a woman go through the rituals of marriage, in whatever way, 1000mg What Is Erythromycin For, shape or form, the end result will necessarily include the woman removing her last name of birth and adopting that of her husband.

Why. Because that’s the way it’s always been.

Why. Because somebody’s got to do it!

Why. Because we’re a patriarchal society.

What Is Erythromycin For, Why. Because…, What Is Erythromycin For us. oh shut up and stop being such a nagging pain, Dilnavaz!

It isn’t merely the assumption that is cause for my concern. It’s the rather vitriolic reaction to the challenging of the status quo. What Is Erythromycin For coupon, The resentment thrown at a woman for daring to retain part of her premarital identity, should she choose to keep the last name she was born with. I’m all for individual choices, What Is Erythromycin For. If your husband’s last name floats your boat, hey, go right ahead and make it Rumpelstiltskin, 200mg What Is Erythromycin For, for all I care. But to subject a person, nay, What Is Erythromycin For india, a woman— always, always and always a woman — to criticism for exercising her right to her own name is unacceptable and indicative of a still-medieval mindset.

As with other feminist issues, I am given either weary or annoyed looks, and told not to stir trouble where there isn’t any. So your trying to take away something I was born with isn’t a problem, 750mg What Is Erythromycin For. You bet your birth certificate it is. Pretending to be a globally-educated man of the world and then throwing a tantrum and refusing to marry your fiancée unless she adds your name to hers reeks of hypocrisy and this is one stench I refuse to wallow in. As my mother very sensibly puts it, (is it a default setting, this sensible mother thing?) it’s not so much the actual act as the mindset behind it, and I have a nagging feeling that plenty of men I know need to work on changing their outlooks rather than their wife’s name. Right, Mr. Ooh-Look-At-My-Fancy-Surname?

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