Curiouser and Curiouser


 

EXCEPT,  I DON’T quite feel like Alice in Wonderland. Absurd would be a more appropriate term to describe this recent development that requires the family of a deceased Zoroastrian (Parsi/Irani) woman married to a non-Zoroastrian to file an affidavit stating she was a practicing Zoroastrian all her life in order to receive funeral rites that are the default option and birthright of all Zoroastrian men, single, gay, purple, married to Martians or otherwise.

Apparently, the earlier procedure, an affidavit filed by the woman herself in her lifetime, is inadequate. And no one is asking why women have to prove non-”desertion” by an act of marriage while it is casually assumed that men are piously practicing holy men who have no reason to adopt the religion of their partner.

Oh, did I just call it absurd? How about we add demeaning, humiliating and sickeningly offensive? There are so many reasons I am proud to be a Parsi. This, let it go on record, IS NOT ONE OF THEM.  I must state here that this is a resolution passed by the BPP, a Bombay-specific body, and does not hold true for Zoroastrians elsewhere in the world (thank heavens!) Nations the world over are proof of how little progress is made when its women are treated like second-class citizens and it is heartbreaking to see an otherwise progressive community do this to more than half its populace, sometimes with the blessing of that ill-informed second-class gender.

For an older post and some history on the subject, go here.

The Redemption of Elizabeth Gilbert

LIKE MANY WOMEN, my reaction — or shall we say relationship? — to Elizabeth Gilbert’s juggernaut bestseller Eat Pray Love (first published and 2006 and by 2008 a global sensation) was complicated. On the one hand, the book is mildly embarrassing; Eat Pray Love falls squarely in the chick lit category, a schmaltzy fairytale-like admission to the feminine hankering for fairytale-like love (someone even recently quipped on Twitter that the first problem she had with it was how to hide the fact that she was reading it). On the other hand, however, it’s a rather good read, a true story, a real woman’s memoir of overcoming a comparatively small yet personally overwhelming struggle. In its own fairytale-like way, it is irresistible — but this was also the source of its doom.

Now, for the few of you who may insist that you know nothing about Eat Pray Love, here it is in a nutshell: a financially successful but not particularly famous author finds herself getting divorced, going into depression, and then taking a year to travel in order to reinvigorate her life. In Italy, she indulges – eating her way through the first third of the year. In India, she joins an ashram (the book is extremely spiritual, and this section is so heartrendingly painful that you wonder why anyone would call this book fluffy… until you get to the next). And finally, in Indonesia, tying up the circle in perfectly fairytale style, she finds love.

All of this is a true story, told in a fashion that is alternately charming, mildly annoying, and deeply honest.

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Single in the City

Ramapriya

LEAFING THROUGH PICTURES mailed by a friend, I find one of me on the beach laughing uninhibitedly with my hair streaming in the wind, and I smile to myself thinking ‘this is so me.’ I am a single woman in her thirties, have never been married and have no ‘special relationship’ with any man. Yes, at times, I do long for companionship and romance but for the most part, I revel in my being single. I enjoy the time and space I have and the freedom to explore love, life and relationships in my own way without the responsibilities that come with being a wife or a mother. Yet, living in a patriarchal society where a woman is expected to prize above all, the role of wife and mother, being single also means having to regularly encounter reactions ranging from the sympathetic to the malicious.

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Taking the Monogamy Out of Marriage

UNMANA INITIATED a lively discussion on marriage a few weeks ago, and there is news now that the institution as we legally define it in India may be set to change. Maharashtra is picking up the cause of legalising live-in relationships and providing more rights to extramarital female parties within a marriage. The state cabinet announced on Wednesday that the definition of the word “wife” under Section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code may be amended, thus facilitating the expansion of the institution of marriage. The bill cannot be cleared without the Centre’s approval, and the amendment has been suggested ostensibly in the interest of securing the rights of women in relationships that do not have the protection of the law. [Read More]

On Marriage

Unmana DattaHELLO UV READERS! I’m excited to be writing my first post here. And going by the old feminist slogan, “the personal is political”, my first post is about something that is intensely personal: marriage. My views on marriage have always been ambivalent. Even as a child, I recognized that most marriages I saw around me were unsatisfactory and, almost always, unfair on the woman. But it seemed like the default option. Once you grew up, you got married. Usually by the time you were 25 if you were female. You had a few more years if you were male. [Read More]

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