January 26, 2013

“Man Prayer”

    I’VE SAID IT BEFORE and I’ll say it again: feminism cannot and should not exist without men. Here is a video titled “Man Prayer” for One Billion Rising, by Tony Stroebel, with words by Eve Ensler. I couldn’t help noticing, though, that the powerful sentiments were scripted by a woman. 😉 For […]

December 04, 2012

Event Announcement: Presentation

  Dalits in America: Rendering Caste Visible in the Diaspora Date & Time: Thursday, December 6, 2012; 7 pm Venue: History Corner (Bldg 200), Room 203, Stanford University, 450 Serra Mall, Stanford, CA About the event: “Caste exists wherever Indians exist and … manifests itself in a myriad of ways,” writes Thenmozhi Soundararajan provocatively […]

October 10, 2012

Gush & Awe: How American Politics Reinforces Stereotypes of Wifehood

    Some weeks ago, I watched two prominent women in the national spotlight, who spoke to American audiences in their roles as longtime partners of the men contesting the 2012 Presidential election. In speeches that were televised across the United States to an audience of millions, first Ann Romney and then Michelle Obama […]

June 22, 2010

Free Trail Of Cialis

Apu Free Trail Of Cialis, THE DVD OF LOVE, Sex aur Dhokha has been lying around at home for some time, but it was only over this weekend that I got around to watching it. Directed by Dibakar Banerjee (of Khosla ka Ghosla fame), LSD is actually three stories in one, with peripheral links to each other, Free Trail Of Cialis india.

The first one is a mushy love story, the second an MMS sex scandal and the third, Free Trail Of Cialis ebay, about the media's voracious appetite for 'stings'. It is the second and third stories that really hold your attention; the first one is slow to heat up and I almost forwarded a little of the first 10-15 minutes. Yet, my mind keeps going back to it, 250mg Free Trail Of Cialis. (This post isn't a movie review though.)

*Spoilers here, beware!*

When the love story of Rahul, aspiring director at a film institute and Shruti, the "Simran" of his film begins, it is hard not to think of this love story as more a paean to DDLJ than anything else, Free Trail Of Cialis. Cheesy like the film they are making, it is hard to imagine that Rahul and Shruti really love anything beyond the feeling of being in love. Free Trail Of Cialis japan, And yet, given the conservative family Shruti comes from, there is no possibility of their dating or getting to know each other. Love must lead to an elopement and marriage almost immediately, Free Trail Of Cialis craiglist. Rahul's blithe confidence that after marriage, the family will "come around", Free Trail Of Cialis paypal, is almost revolting to watch in its stupidity. Free Trail Of Cialis, The end, when it comes, is gruesome, even though nothing of this honour killing is really shown.

Just yesterday, the Supreme Court has issued a notice asking the Central Government (and a few states), why they are doing nothing to combat the recent spate of honour killings.

The thing about us Indians is that we pride ourselves on our superior 'Indian values'; we lose no chance to deride Western societies for their (alleged) lack of affection, Free Trail Of Cialis usa, 'family values' and morality. Nowhere is this more evident than in our smug attitude to the upbringing of children. 750mg Free Trail Of Cialis, It is so common to hear people talking as though Indians are the only people that know how to bring up children well - everywhere else, children are neglected, spoilt, abused and grow up to have no love for their parents, 200mg Free Trail Of Cialis.

And yet, this is the country where a good chunk of people are all too ready to sacrifice their children in the name of honour, Free Trail Of Cialis us, society, family name and blah blah. Honour killing is one extreme end of the spectrum, but the unwillingness to accept children's choices and their happiness as a primary consideration exists in many other forms, ranging from emotional blackmail to being 'cast out of the family'.

Gajar-ka-halwa aside, we need to stop kidding ourselves. I suppose we have good and bad parents like everywhere else, but no magic beans that qualify us as the best parents on earth.

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July 17, 2009

Retin A During Pregnancy

Retin A During Pregnancy, ACCORDING TO THE calendar Parsis follow, today is my birthday. It is an event only family and very close friends know about, 1000mg Retin A During Pregnancy, the more popular occasion being my date of birth next weekend. Of the seven people who wished me a Happy Birthday today, four followed it up with blessings for a good sasroo, Retin A During Pregnancy overseas, i.e. 50mg Retin A During Pregnancy, marital home/in-laws’ home. All were women above 50, all educated, 500mg Retin A During Pregnancy, all married themselves and surrounded by several singletons of their age who appear fairly happy and not about to kill themselves from the ignominy of not being part of a pair. (Parsis have the lowest rate of marriage in India, with significantly higher levels of social acceptance for those unhitched than most other Indian communities.)

Some years earlier, this act of wishing a sasroo upon me would have irked me no end, Retin A During Pregnancy. Retin A During Pregnancy australia, Now it must be old age and its consequent mellowing effects because today I was only mildly annoyed and half-amused that educated, supposedly liberal women in an urbane setting still think of the seeming security a husband and his family can offer as their foremost wish for me.

Oftentimes, Retin A During Pregnancy uk, it isn’t a well thought-out greeting, 40mg Retin A During Pregnancy, just a bouquet of lines trotted out over generations, dating back to an era when a marital home indeed meant security and the blessing of a stable life. My mother mentions with a touch of sentimentality (and she isn’t even a sentimental sort of person) that the “Now next year, 100mg Retin A During Pregnancy, celebrate your birthday in your sasroo” wish was bestowed upon her year after year by her own mother, 150mg Retin A During Pregnancy, despite knowing full well that her daughter was going nowhere until she finished her accounting degree (which she did at age 28).

I know they only mean well, all these women, Retin A During Pregnancy india, and I view them with a recently-found tolerance that has me quickly scanning my hair for any change in color. But I do wish they would realize that the best blessing they can possibly bestow on me is success and happiness in the face of life’s challenges and the ability to be my own safety net. And the freedom to choose my own path, even if it doesn’t lead to the much-exalted sasroo.


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July 06, 2009

Clomid And Endometriosis

Meena Kandasamy Clomid And Endometriosis, RECENTLY, I PARTICIPATED in the launch function of a documentary film Pottu about the hardships and social humiliation faced by widows and deserted women in Tamil Nadu. Produced by the Kalangarai Trust which works among the widows in the southern district of Nagappattinam (particularly in Vedaranyam, Sirkaali and Poompuhaar), the 50-minute documentary attempts to describe the torture that widows are forced to undergo in the name of tradition. The documentary started off with a young girl's story: the gaudy ceremony surrounding puberty, her early marriage (to prevent the chance of the family name getting “spoiled” if she were to be left “free”), the dowry that her parents are forced to pay, Clomid And Endometriosis ebay, the hard work that she is forced to do in her husband's home, his alcoholism and domestic violence, his death and finally, her enforced widowhood. Although Pottu seemed to make of every cinematic cliché, Clomid And Endometriosis coupon, some issues highlighted by the documentary deserve to be taken up for debate.

Bangle-breaking ceremonies (where all the symbols of marriage: the red kumkum mark (pottu), the thaali (mangalsutra) are removed) are notoriously common in Tamil Nadu's southern villages. In fact, these ceremonies are conducted before dawn, when even the gods are supposedly sleeping, because such a merciless sight is capable of disturbing even them, Clomid And Endometriosis.

Not only is a woman forced to undergo emotional agony because of her husband's absence, but she is also forced to face social humiliation. The things that society puts forward as symbols of femininity and desirability are snatched away overnight. Widows are systematically kept out of social functions (celebration of menarche or marriage), Clomid And Endometriosis india, they are stigmatized and heaped with abuse and they are denied all decision making at the family level. They are also denied civil rights--commonly-held beliefs discriminate widows by virtue of their being considered "inauspicious". Clomid And Endometriosis, Tamil proverbs say that to see a widow early in the morning effectively ruins a day, and so on.

Yesterday, the women who were the driving force behind the documentary Pottu, got together and announced that soon they would be hosting the first international conference of widows, 1000mg Clomid And Endometriosis, destitute and deserted women. They have two demands: laws to prosecute people who abuse widows in degrading terms and social, economic, legal rehabilitation for the widows.

There are several reasons why such a project has emerged from Tamil Nadu. According to a statistics by the Kalangarai Trust approximately 10% of the households in the state are headed by widows, and that 24% of the widows live alone, 100mg Clomid And Endometriosis. Majority of the widows are mothers of the head of the household, Clomid And Endometriosis. Their study also shows that the highest concentration of widows (8.06% of the general population) in Tamil Nadu arises from two categories of widows particular to the southern-coastal districts of the state: Tsunami widows and widows of men who have succumbed to HIV/AIDS. A large number of them work as daily wage labourers.

Tamil widows face a particular problem because of the manner in which their language subjugates them. The English word widow has an equivalent masculine form widower (which might carry fewer negative connotations may be, but at least a word exists). There's no equivalent masculine form for the word vidhavai Clomid And Endometriosis, (widow) in Tamil. 10mg Clomid And Endometriosis, On the other hand, in popular practice, a just-widowed man is humorously referred to as the pudhu maapillai (new bridegroom)--perhaps enshrining the fact that he would soon be married to someone.

Widowhood is also becoming a problem that cuts across cultures. No longer are Hindu widows alone subjected to such torment. Even a religion like Islam, where there's no bar on widow remarriage, Clomid And Endometriosis usa, is being influenced by local practices. At the documentary release function, a Muslim woman lamented how her own community was now following these meaningless practices which has historically plagued the Hindu religion, Clomid And Endometriosis.

The efforts of William Benetick and Raja Rammohun Roy put an end to the Sati system in 1829. The Widow Remarriage Act was passed in 1856. Another hundred years later, the Child Marriage Restraint Act came into place. Clomid And Endometriosis us, Every reformer and every revolutionary on the Indian soil has voiced about the condition of widows: Phule opened a home for widows and abandoned children, Dr. Clomid And Endometriosis, Ambedkar traced the roots of the sati system in the necessity to maintain/preserve the endogamous caste structure, Periyar argued for widow remarriage. Even a middle-of-the-road traditionalist reformer like Gandhi condemned the practice of widowhood in no uncertain terms. Pandita Ramabai became an icon by speaking out against the heinous nature of imposed widowhood.

Today, as women fight against gender injustice and social indignity, they are forced to confront several challenges: how to oppose cultural facets that alienate widows, 250mg Clomid And Endometriosis, how to create alternative cultural symbols that don't differentiate between women, how to develop a policy framework not only for widows but also for single women in India and especially how to fight against a hypocritical system where the oppressor is not someone from the outside, but one’s own blood, one’s own family. Perhaps this is one area where there is no dearth of Hindi/Tamil films that describe the plight, Clomid And Endometriosis overseas, but there is a paucity of public debate and discussion.

(p.s.: Women members of this organization demanded (rightfully of course) that they should be allowed to wear bangles, wear flowers, and above all, wear the pottu. However, every 'invited' speaker pointed out that all women should unite to throw away the markers of marriage and/or femininity such as the bangles/flowers/pottu/thaali and so on. All of us might agree that these are decisions which women should take as individuals, and not just as a category, but then, what's your take on this?).

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